Dream A Little Dream
by Virtie
Summary: Dreams are meant to escape reality. But, what if it's the dreams you're trying to escape? Ch. 8 now up!
1. It Takes Two To Tango

I blame my weird socials teacher. O_o;;; And nothing belongs to me, so don't sue. XP  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Bonk. Harry whipped around to see who was throwing things at him. After a while, he turned back around. Bonk. Immediately, someone had hit him again.  
  
A little piece of an eraser was laying on his desk. /Ah ha!/ Harry thought to himself. He picked up the eraser, turned around, and flicked it at Draco.  
  
The eraser hit him square in the center of his forehead.  
  
Harry burst out in the giggles, but stopped when Snape looked up from his work to glare at him.  
  
Bonk. He turned around to see Draco grinning at him maliciously.  
  
/This is war!/ He broke off a piece of eraser and flicked it at Ron's head.  
  
Ron turned around and glared at Draco, then flicked an eraser at him. Draco flicked an eraser back, then Harry flicked another at him.  
  
From out of no where, Harry got bonked by another eraser. He turned around to se Neville grinning at him.  
  
Bonk. Bonk. Erasers were flying from all areas of the room. Draco got a good hit on Ron, who was bombarded by erasers, one of which nailed him on the tip of his nose.  
  
Bonk. Bonk. Everyone started pelting Draco with erasers, who tried to cover himself with Goyle.  
  
Draco prepared his counter attack with a huge eraser, which he flicked up into the air.  
  
Unfortunately, the recipient of the eraser was Hermione, who didn't want to be part of their game.  
  
"Excuse me, Professor Snape!" She said, slamming her books on the desk and standing up. "I can not concentrate with all the erasers flying around!"  
  
"Who's throwing erasers?" Snape asked, glaring at everyone.  
  
"Harry and Draco started it," Goyle said.  
  
Draco gasped, then kicked Goyle's shin under the table.  
  
"Both of you, come to the front of the classroom. Now." Snape demanded.  
  
They both got up and came over to Snape.  
  
"Dance."  
  
"WHAT?!" They both said in unison.  
  
"Yes, dance."  
  
"Uhh. . . what kind?" Harry asked sheepishly.  
  
"Tango. Now."  
  
Harry grabbed Draco's hand and spun him around.  
  
"What are you doing, Potter?!" Draco snapped.  
  
"Nothing. Now shut up and dance!" He grinned.  
  
Harry extended his arm, then spun Draco around up to him.  
  
Snape turned on some music, then went back to his desk.  
  
The two continued to dance, and everyone else started getting partners and tangoing too.  
  
All of a sudden, Ron jumped up on a desk, pulling Neville and Hermione up. He put his arms across their shoulders and shouted, "Everyone! Lets do the can-can!" Everyone else got up on the tables, and jumped about, dancing to the can-can.  
  
All of a sudden, Percy burst through the door and sung out, "The hiiiiills are aliiiiiiive with the sound of muuuuuuuuusic!"  
  
Everyone stopped in mid can-can to look at him.  
  
Percy blinked a couple times, then walked over to the table, and joined in the can-can.  
  
"Can, can you do the can-can? Can you do the can-can. Can you do the. . . LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! CAN! Can you do the can-can! Can you do the can-can. Can you do the. . . LALALALA!" Everyone sang.  
  
"STOP!" Gilderoy shouted from the doorway. "Don't leave me this way. . ." He walked over to Severus, got down on his knees, and clung to his cape. "I can't survive, without your sweet smile. Oh baby, don't leave me this waaaay. . ."  
  
Severus got up, and ran to the other side of the room. "You'd think that people would have had enough with silly love songs," he sang.  
  
"I look around me and I see, it isn't so," Gilderoy clung to him.  
  
Everyone blinked in confusion.  
  
"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?" Draco said, clinging to Harry, who blinked.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Slurp. Slurp Slurp.  
  
Percy rolled over and blinked a couple times.  
  
"That what the weirdest dream I've ever had. . ." He said to himself, shaking his head. He sighed. "I need to get out more."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
AN: LOL. . . I just started writing. . . And that's what happened :P It almost was a normal story! ^.^;; 


	2. The Safety Dance

The continuation~! Go figure ^_~ Just. . . more oddness. :P Oh yea, the disclaimer. Not mine, not claimed to be, don't sue.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"So, you're telling me this isn't the first time you've had one of these. . . strange dreams?" the man in the big comfy chair asked.  
  
"Yeah, and that's not even the half of it," said Percy, who was stretched out across a big pink velvety couch. "I don't even KNOW most of those people!" He sighed, rubbing his temples.  
  
The therapist just nodded and wrote down some notes.  
  
"Do you know what's wrong with me?" Percy asked hopefully.  
  
"Well, your case is very odd and unusual to me. I don't quite know what to tell you. I think it has to do with you being discontent with your life. Why don't you just go out and try doing things you wouldn't regularly do."  
  
Unsatisfied by the answer, Percy sighed again as he left the office. /Go out any do things I wouldn't regularly do? Like what?/ He huffed. /And since when am I not happy with my life. . ./  
  
He pondered to himself about things he could to take his mind of his odd dreams, and ended up at a library.  
  
He picked up a volume of "How To Become Minister of Magic in 10 Days" and sat down on the couch to read.  
  
As he read, in the background he could hear a familiar song playing. He hummed it to himself as he slowly drifted off to sleep.  
  
"We can dance, we can dance, everybody's taking the cha-a-a-ance. . ."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"We can dance if we want to, We can leave your friends behind, 'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, Well they're no friends of mine"  
  
Snapping his fingers and skipping along to the beat of the song was Severus Snape, dresses in a white with pink stripped jump-suit. Holding on to his waist and skipping along with him was Gilderoy Lockhart, followed by Lucius Malfoy.  
  
"I say, we can go where we want to, To a place where they will never find, And we can act like we come from out of this world, Leave the real one far behind. And we can dance, we can dance. . ."  
  
As the song continued, more people latched onto the growing ling of skipping dancers, including Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley.  
  
"Safety dance, Is it safe to dance, Is it safe to dance? S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F- f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y. Safe, dance!"  
  
The scenery changed from inside Hogwarts, to out in an open, grassy field. By now, the line of people was longer than the eye could see. It seemed as if the whole populace of the world was skipping and singing.  
  
And way at front, still leading the line, was Snape, who continued to skip and snap his fingers, in his white and pink jump-suit.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Percy screamed out loud and threw the book that was on his lap to the floor. Looking around at all the people staring blankly at him, he ran out of the library.  
  
~TBC~  
  
Lol, it's the Safety dance! No, I', not trying to rip off BioDome! XP I just. . . found my self skipping around and snapping my fingers the last time I heard that song. . . XP I shall continue~! 


	3. A Flock of Seagulls

Lol. . . wow. . . there's actually starting to have a plot to the story~! o_O Go figure. ^.^ Anyhoo. . . As the insanity in Percy's head continues, I write myself as a character to make Percy all the more frustrated. O_o; Go me? XP  
  
Oh yea! HP belongs to whoever has the official copyright of it. XP  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Oddly enough, Percy found himself back at the library. This time, he was actually going to read a book that was maybe more. . . interesting?  
  
Sitting on the table across from him was a book titled "A Documented History of Fantastical Firebirds-Abridged." He shrugged and picked up the book, flipping it open and started reading it.  
  
"There is little doubt that birds-especially those that spontaneously combust at regular intervals-are amongst the most fascinating creatures a witch or wizard could choose to work with," he mumbled off to himself, "as I previously revealed in my best-selling 'Prancing with Phantoms.' I, Gilderoy Lockhart, have had on numerous occasions- -"  
  
Percy snorted out loud to himself, and slammed the book shut. "Well that's a flop." He laughed.  
  
"Hey! I happened to like that book!" A bubbly young girl across the table said, snatching the book from him and flipping through it.  
  
Percy looked at the girl, and was actually quite smitten with her. She had long, wavy reddish brown hair, with sparkling green eyes.  
  
"After having him as a professor. . . it gets old." He joked.  
  
"Not really!" She smiled.  
  
"You go to Hogwarts? Why have I never seen you around?" He asked, shocked.  
  
She shrugged and smiled. "I usually tend to avoid the prefects." She winked. "Whelp, I gotta boogie, see you around!" She jumped up and started walking away.  
  
"Wait! What's your name?" Percy asked abruptly.  
  
"Mirriam! Mirriam Monaghan!"  
  
Percy sighed and sat back down as he watched her skip off. /Wow. . ./ Was all he could think to think.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Percy ran the last stretch to his house before he could get drenched in the rain. He found that by walking to places himself, he was able to stay awake longer.  
  
He went up to his room and locked the door before anyone could bother him.  
  
He took off his wet clothes and changed into some dry ones, then laid down on his bed.  
  
Immediately, his thoughts traveled to the girl he met at the library. /Mirriam. . ./ And before he knew it, he had fallen asleep.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
A soft drum beat started playing, as you see the feet of someone running almost to the beat. After a moment, a song starts playing, and you see that it's Mirriam who is running, dressed in spandex shorts and a sports bra.  
  
"I walked along the avenue. I never thought I'd meet a girl like you; Meet a girl like you. With auburn hair and emerald eyes; The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through; Hypnotize me through."  
  
It was like a scene from Baywatch playing, Mirriam, running along oblivious to how her simple jog was being perverted.  
  
The song continued, as she kept running.  
  
"And I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day. I couldn't get away."  
  
Beside her, you see another person running. Yes, dressed in the same spandex outfit, fatrolls blobbing to the beat, was Snape.  
  
"A cloud appears above your head; A beam of light comes shining down on you, Shining down on you. The cloud is moving nearer still. Aurora borealis comes in view; Aurora comes in view."  
  
As if they were running in a marathon, they caught up to the rest of the group, who were all Hogwarts professors, dressed in many colorful shades of spandex.  
  
"And I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day. I couldn't get away."  
  
Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy. It was Baywatch gone all wrong. All the colorful man-boobs bouncing and bouncing.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Percy found himself waking up screaming again. The image of all the professors bouncing around in fluorescent spandex was burned into his mind.  
  
Rubbing his eyes, he tried to push the dream aside and think of happy thoughts, but he only could think of Snape in his pink spandex.  
  
"Hey Percy, are you all right?" Someone asked from the other side of the door.  
  
"YES!" He shouted. He cuddled up in his bed, horribly scarred by his new dream.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
AN: They're getting worse aren't they? XD Ah well XP o_o The regular insanity will come back when I run out of actual ideas. ^_~ 


	4. Wizard of Odd

Weird. . . I never thought I'd continue this into an actually story with a plot. ^_^ I just started it as a one shotter. XD  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. . . 'Cept Mirriam. XD  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"When you mix the worm root with the bat fang, it'll blow up in your face. So don't do it." Snape instructed.  
  
Percy's attention had wandered off during Snape's lecture, and he stared out at the wall across from him.  
  
He anxiously awaited the end of class so he could find Mirriam and talk to her.  
  
". . . which also makes a good makeshift bomb, so you can throw it at stupid Weasley's who aren't. paying. attention!" Snape growled, slamming a book on his desk.  
  
Percy jumped up at the loud bang and looked over at Snape.  
  
"What about that wall is so much more important that you're so entranced with it?" Snape asked, making the class giggle.  
  
"I. . . err. . . uh. . ." Percy stuttered.  
  
"You uh err what?" Snape sneered.  
  
Thankfully, at that moment, class ended. /Saved by the bell./ Percy chirped. Leaving the classroom, he trudged along the hallway feeling a little humiliated.  
  
All his troubles went away when he saw Mirriam, who was talking to a group of her girl friends in the hallway.  
  
He didn't stop to talk, but as soon as he passed by, she smiled and waved to him. He smiled and waved back, and kept walking on.  
  
When he got to his room, he flopped down on the bed and smiled. /Next time. . . I'll actually stop to talk to her. . ./  
  
Without knowing it, he slowly began to close his eyes and drift off to sleep.  
  
Thankfully for his sake, his brothers barged into his room and flopped down on his bed on either side of him.  
  
"Perc! You wouldn't believe what we overheard!" Fred started.  
  
"Yeah! A -girl- actually likes -you-!" George laughed.  
  
"Really. . ." Percy groaned, too tired to want to deal with his over zealous brothers.  
  
"Her name is Mirriam Monaghan. She's a fifth year too!" Fred exclaimed.  
  
Percy jumped up. "Really?!"  
  
George blinked. "Is that all you can say today? 'Really'?"  
  
Fred laughed and got up, followed by George.  
  
"Anyhoo, we gotta bugger off. Have fun!" Fred grinned.  
  
As soon as they left, Percy fell back on his bed.  
  
/She likes me. . ./ He smiled as he slowly drifted off to sleep.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Set like an old fashioned black and white film, a quaint little farm set out in the middle of endless fields.  
  
The clouds in the sky were clearing out for the sun to break through. The rain was just clearing out, and with the sun shinning through, a beautiful rainbow spread out across the sky.  
  
Sitting on a fence was a long dark haired person with pigtails and wearing a frilly blue-checkered dress.  
  
The person is humming a soft melody, which then turns into a song.  
  
"Somewhere over the rainbow, Way up high. There's a land that I heard of, Once in a lullaby. . ."  
  
Then, the person turns around and you see that it is in fact, Severus Snape.  
  
"Somewhere over the rainbow, Skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream, Really do come true."  
  
Hopping off the fence, he strode over to a nearby haystack, and leaned up against it.  
  
"Some day I'll wish upon a star, And wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops. That's where you'll find me."  
  
All of a sudden, Gilderoy, dressed up like a scarecrow, walked over to Snape. After him, an almost albino Lion came up to them as well, who was actually Lucius. Coming from around the haystack was Lupin, dressed up like a tin man.  
  
"Somewhere over the rainbow, Bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, Why then, oh why can't I? Some day I'll wish upon a star, And wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops, That's where you'll find me." They sang.  
  
Snape opened the overly large picnic basket, to reveal Sirius, who was dressed up like a big black dog.  
  
They then all started singing together in unison.  
  
"Somewhere over the rainbow, Bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, Why then, oh why can't I? If happy little bluebirds fly, Beyond the rainbow, Why, oh why can't I?"  
  
As they finished their song, Snape turn to Gilderoy, who looked back at him. Suddenly, Gilderoy lunged on him and started kissing him all over.  
  
Seeing their. . . connection, Lupin felt out of place, so he grabbed Sirius and started making out with him.  
  
Lucius, feeling out of place, joined in with Snape and Gilderoy.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"AAAHHHH!" Percy screamed, flying up from his bed.  
  
"AAAHHH!" A high pitch scream responded to his.  
  
Percy looked over at the doorway, where Mirriam was standing, who looked stricken.  
  
"You scared the life out of me!" She said, clinging to the door.  
  
"Sorry!" He said, jumping up and going over to her.  
  
"I just came in here to talk to you. . ." She blinked.  
  
"That had nothing to do with you!" He reassured her. "I. . . had an odd dream. . ."  
  
"Oh? Okay. . .?" She said, meeting him halfway.  
  
"Yeah. . . Apparently, I have some kind of sleep disorder that makes me have very freaking and disturbing dreams. . ." He said sheepishly.  
  
"Wanna tell me about them?" She asked, sitting down on the bed.  
  
"Uhh. . . Okay." He said, sitting down next to her.  
  
~ ~ TBC ~ ~  
  
AN: Weee. XDD That was fun. ^.^ *cackles evilly * Hmm. . . I need another idea for a fic. . . @_@ AH well! I'll think of something. :D Oh, and in my universe, Penelope doesn't exist. XP 


	5. Barbie World

Yeaaahh. . . I wasn't going to write this chapter, but I guess I should. :P I have 2 more I already wrote waiting after this. . . so don't be surprised if this chapter sucks, cause. . . I dunno what to write. XDD Okay, same disclaimer about HP not being mine, and Breetanya is still Bree's, but alas! Mirriam (the poor dear) is mine. XDD  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Mirriam blinked a couple times. She stared at Percy for a moment, waiting for him to tell her he was joking. After a couple moments when she realized he was serious, she fell back onto the bed laughing.  
  
"What?! I'm serious!" Percy shouted.  
  
Mirriam controlled her giggles and rubbed the tears from her eyes. "I know. . . I know. I'm sorry!" She said, still giggling. "I just can't get the picture of Snape in pink spandex out of my head!" She giggled.  
  
"Aarrgg. . ." Percy moaned, rubbing his head. "Don't remind me. . ."  
  
"Okay! Okay," she giggled one last time, "I'll stop."  
  
"Anyhow," Percy said, changing the topic. "We've got to get to the library." He said, getting up. "Study for exams?"  
  
Mirriam moaned. "Noo. . ."  
  
"You're in Ravenclaw! You're supposed to be smart and brainy!" Percy gasped.  
  
"Well. . ." she coughed. "I think the sorting hat made a mistake!" She joked. "But okay, I'll go." She smiled, getting up and following him out of the room.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Mirriam stared intently at Percy's face. He'd fallen asleep while studying, and she was waiting for him to wake up so she can find out if he had another dream.  
  
Several times during his sleep, he smiled, so she guess this wasn't one of his more. . . unusual dreams.  
  
Percy yawned and opened his eyes. To his surprise, he saw Mirriam's face right in front of his.  
  
"Geeh! What are you doing??" He asked, sitting back.  
  
"Waiting for you to wake up and tell me about your dream," she smiled.  
  
"Not all of my dreams are weird," He defended himself.  
  
"I know! You were smiling!" She grinned.  
  
"Ehh, umm. . . I've got to get going," he said, standing up.  
  
"Oh come on!" She pouted, walking around to the other side of the table.  
  
"I've got to get to my History of Magic class," he shrugged.  
  
"Okay. . . Have fun!" She chirped. "See you at lunch!"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Hi Severus!" Lucius said, who was sitting in a convertible, dressed in khaki shorts and a white tank top, and sunglassed.  
  
"Hi Lucius!" Severus chirped, who had been walking along the sidewalk, wearing a pink tube top, and short shorts.  
  
"Wanna go for a ride?" Lucius asked.  
  
"Sure, Lucius!" Severus said.  
  
"Well jump in!"  
  
"He he he he!" Severus giggle, jumping in. "I'm a Sevvie girl in the Sevvie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere, Imagination, life is your creation." Severus began singing.  
  
"Come on, Sevvie, let's go party!" Lucius said, in a low, creepy voice.  
  
"I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world. Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie." Severus continued.  
  
"You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain. Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky." Lucius said, wrapping his arm around Severus's shoulders.  
  
"You can touch, you can play. You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa! I'm a Sevvie girl in the Sevvie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation."  
  
"Come on, Sevvie, let's go party."  
  
"Ha ha ha, yeah!"  
  
"Come on, Sevvie, let's go party."  
  
"Oooh, oooh!"  
  
"Oh, I'm having so much fun!" Severus smiled.  
  
"Well, Severus, we're just getting started!" Lucius said, pulling Severus close to him and parking the car.  
  
"Oh, I love you Lucius!" Severus said, kissing Lucius.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Percy fell back out of the his chair onto the floor.  
  
He blinked a couple times, trying to remember where he was.  
  
"Have a good dream?" His teacher asked, eying him suspiciously.  
  
"No!" Percy shouted, covering his face with his hands and shaking his head.  
  
~ ~ TBC ~ ~  
  
AN: *giggles * My friend gave me the idea to do that! ^_^; So it wasn't entirely my fault. :P And yes. . . In that dream, Sevvie is a girl. XDD Lol. ^_~ 


	6. Star Warf

Lol. . . I think everyone's starting to get suspicious about Snape and Percy's dream world relationship. XD Well. . . *cackles * Maybe this might clear up the air?  
  
Oh, and I added my friend into the story, because it terrifies her, and she won't review. *grins *  
  
Aww crap. . . o___o I found a mistake! XD The story takes place in the first book. . . And you might notice some characters that don't even show up till the 2nd and 3rd books. . . ^_^ My bad! I guess Percy's a psychic too. ^_~  
  
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to me! *cackles * NONO! Not really! Just Mirriam. . . and anything pink. XP  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"-Please- tell me you don't ACTUALLY like Percy Weasley?" Mirriam's friend Breetanya asked, sitting down at the one of the library tables next to Mirriam.  
  
"What's so wrong with him?" Mirriam asked her fellow Ravenclaw friend, offended. "I find him quite nice, actually."  
  
"But he's so stuck up!" She said, groaning in disgust.  
  
"Hey! At least he's MY AGE!" Mirriam snapped, which shut Breetanya up. "Anyhow, I've got to go," she said, waving off her friend's complaints. "I've got to go. . . study. . . with Percy!" She winked.  
  
Breetanya groaned again, and banged her book on her forehead.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Percy did a jumping roll across the hallway. He was dressed in an odd, white tunic, tied with a thick tan piece of cloth at the waist.  
  
He motioned back to where he had rolled from. Mirriam darted across the hall, also wearing an odd outfit. Hers was a odd, long white dress. The oddest part about her outfit though, was her hair, which was wrapped in two braided balls at each side of her head.  
  
"Okay. . . It's clear, let's go!" Percy said, taking Mirriam's hand and running down the hall. They turned the corner at the end of the hall, which lead to a large, open room. Standing in the middle was a man dressed completely in black.  
  
Mirriam and Percy stopped and gasped as the man turned around. "I've been waiting for you. . . Percy," He said. Just then, he started coughing and hacking. He took off his big helmet and gasped for air.  
  
"DAMN it's hot in there!" The man said, who actually turn out to be none other than Severus Snape.  
  
"Darth Severus!" Mirriam gasped.  
  
Snape turned to her and held up his hand, his palm facing her. All of a sudden, she was sent into the air flying, and landed on 20 feet behind Percy.  
  
"Mirriam!" Percy shouted. He would have turned and went to her side, but Snape pulled out his wand from inside his cloak. "Lets dance, pretty boy."  
  
Percy pulled out his hand, and pointed it at Snape. From the end of Snape's wand, a bright red beam of energy shot out about 3 feet, forming a sword like weapon. Percy's did the same.  
  
Percy lunged at Snape, and they started fighting.  
  
Mirriam sat up, a little shaken, and watched the fight. After what seemed like forever, she yawned in boredom. Sure, fight scenes are nice on TV and all, but the un edited version is such a bore!  
  
Then all of a sudden, Percy kicked Snape's head, who went flying off the balcony. Percy walked over and looked down. Snape was holding on to the ledge for dear life.  
  
"Percy. . . help me. . ." He said quietly.  
  
Being a good hearted boy, Percy leaned down and grabbed Snape's arm.  
  
"Percy. . . I am your father!" Snape cackled evilly.  
  
Percy screamed out in terror, but couldn't run, because Snape was holding onto his arm.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"AAAAHHH!!!" Percy woke up screaming again.  
  
This time, Mirriam who was almost at his bed, tripped and fell. "You have GOT to stop doing that!"  
  
~ ~ TBC ~ ~  
  
AN: Lol. . . Oh sweet, dear little Percy-kins. ^_^ Lol XD I'm really falling in love with this story. XP I'll try making the next couple chapters longer. XP And yes! There will be many. . . many more chapters. ^_~ 


	7. Physical

Gahh. . . I've been feeling overly sick lately, so I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like. @_@ So if I start getting all sad, or just out of character, it's cause of me being sick. :P Oh, and please tell me if you see something wrong or out of place, cause. . . I feel more stupid when I finally discover it after however long. ^_~;;  
  
Bare with this one! ^_^; It's not what you think. . . XDD  
  
Disclaimer: Percy isn't mine. . . dammit. :P *tries to trade one of her characters for him *  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Just say 'I won'," Snape growled. He was dressed oddly, with short bleached blonde hair, and a metal claw for an arm.  
  
"I won!" Gilderoy said mockingly. He also was dressed oddly, in a somewhat feminine outfit, consisting of a tank top, shorts, and army boots, His hair was dyed bleach blond as well, but with many colored highlights. Sections of his hair were shaved really short, while others were quite long and braided.  
  
"Noo. . . say '-I- won!'" Snape said, getting slightly annoyed now.  
  
"-I- won!" Gilderoy grinned.  
  
Snape growled loudly, taking Gilderoy by the shoulders and shaking him. "Noo!"  
  
Gilderoy just grinned at him. "Yess!"  
  
"Noo!"  
  
"Yess!"  
  
"Stop it!" Snape shouted.  
  
"No!" Gilderoy pouted.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Argg. . . Percy moaned, rubbing his hands over his face. "That was just completely pointless."  
  
He sighed and got up from his desk. His entire class had just left, including his teacher, and never even bothered to wake him up.  
  
He sighed to himself. He had a horrible headache, so he decided to take a walk outside. /Maybe the fresh air will help clear my head. . ./  
  
He walked around outside until he came to where a group of students were playing a mock-Quidditch game.  
  
He watched them as he walked along, then eventually sat down across from the field.  
  
He opened one of the books from his bag and started reading. He glanced up once in a while to watch the game. One of the players made a beautiful catch, catching the ball just before it hit the ground, but almost fell off their broom in the process.  
  
Percy wondered to himself why he never was interested in sports like some of his brothers. Fred and George obviously liked sports, or just enough to be on the Gryffindor team. Charlie also liked sports while he attended Hogwarts. Bill played once in a while, but he didn't like it enough to join a team.  
  
/I guess that's where I get it from. . . I'm destined to be a nerd./ He sighed.  
  
He hadn't noticed that the game ended. As the players headed back into the school, one of them broke away from the group and walked over to him.  
  
"Hey Percy!" Mirriam smiled, waving at him. "Did you watch our game?" She asked, sitting down next to him.  
  
It was the first time he had seen her with all her hair pulled back. "Parts of it."  
  
"It's much more fun that real games. No pressure to actually be good," she laughed. "I'd never make it in a real game! I'm more of a grounded person," she smiled.  
  
"Me too," he nodded.  
  
"Is something wrong?" She asked, noting the weary expression in his face.  
  
"I'm just tired. . . To avoid dreaming, I've been sleeping less. It's really starting to ware on me." He sighed.  
  
"And everything else is getting on your nerves?" Mirriam laughed. "I get that way too."  
  
"Yeah. . . But not -everything-. . ." He sighed, glancing over at Mirriam.  
  
"Yeah. . ." she whispered. "Mmm!" Lunch time!" She said, patting his leg and standing up. "Coming?"  
  
"No. . . I think I'll catch up on a little sleep before my next class."  
  
"Don't tell me you've stopped eating too!" She gasped, mockingly.  
  
He laughed. "No. I'll see you later." He smiled.  
  
"Byee!" She smiled, trotting off.  
  
Sighing, Percy trudged off to the Gryffindor common house. He plopped down on the couch in the front room and immediately fell asleep.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Mirriam was sitting on a big, throne like chair. She looked particularly gorgeous in Percy's mind. She had a long dress on, and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail.  
  
"I'm saying all the things that I know you'll like. Making good conversation, I gotta handle you just right. You know what I mean. . ." She said seductively.  
  
"I took you to an intimate restaurant. Then to a suggestive movie," She said, standing up and walking down the stairs. "There's nothing left to talk about, Unless it's horizontally."  
  
When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she pulled the little strings keeping her dress up off. When the dress fell, it revealed her. . . spandex outfit.  
  
"Let's get physical, physical. I wanna get physical. Let's get into physical," she said, jogging over the other side of the room. When she got there, again, it there was the Hogwarts professors, dressed in spandex jogging suits, who were all jogging in place.  
  
"Let me hear your body talk, your body talk. Let me hear your body talk."  
  
She picked up weights, as did the others, and started pumping them up and down.  
  
"I've been patient, I've been good. Tried to keep my hands on the table. It's gettin' hard this holdin' back. If you know what I mean. . ."  
  
She kept singing and moving the weights around, as the professors panted and sweated, trying to keep up.  
  
"I'm sure you'll understand my point of view. We know each other mentally. You gotta know that you're bringin' out The animal in me."  
  
She jogged out of the scene, leaving the professors there, who all started singing instead.  
  
"Let's get physical, physical. I wanna get physical. Let's get into physical," they all sang in unison. "Let me hear your body talk, your body talk. Let me hear your body talk."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Percy woke up and shuddered. Just hearing his teachers singing that was bad enough. . . but to be singing it TO HIM?! He curled up in a ball, feeling somewhat. . . tainted?  
  
~ ~ TBC ~ ~  
  
AN: I could not for the life of me think of a better word. O_o Soiled? Fouled? I don't know. XP Tainted is good enough. o_o No, but seriously. . . That 'Physical' music video was disturbing. @_@ I tried to capture the essence of that video, but. . . ah well. :P 


	8. Gundam what the hell?

Haha I got the idea for this story cause I was flipping through a hundred pages of stories I've written, and in the middle of all these HP stories was a page of a certain... GW fic I'd written. It gave me quite a laugh, so thus, a story emerged.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. They belong to their own masters. Damn.

* * *

"Ohh Heeroo! I think we're lost," a pretty boy with a long braid said.

A taller, darker haired boy cursed in Japanese and started shouting at the other boy. "BAKA! It was a simple million to kill that Peacecraft shrew, and rid her from my life once and for all, and you botched it up!" He added a few more japanese curses before the other boy started shouting in his own defense.

"This was YOUR problem and YOUR mission, so DON'T BLAME ME WE FAILED!" He knew it was a bad idea to fight with the other boy, but he was frustrated because he knew it was his fault. The other boy grapped his hair and continued shouting at him, while he cried out in pain from having his braid pulled.

Suddenly, a figure popped out of nowhere and stared blankly at the pain.

"Umm.. who are you? And.. what are cartoons doing in my dream?"

The darker haired boy glared at the newcomer and pulled a gun from his spandex shorts. "Omae o Korosu."

BANG!

Percy cried out in pain. His dream had startled him and he somehow managed to hit the wall while trying to escape. He felt a little silly, because he was breathing hard and sweating. /At least that woke me up from that weird dream../ he though while rubbing his hand which was hurting from the impact of the wall. /Now I'm dreaming about cartoons! This is messed up.. Though, at least it's not about my professors again../

He reached over to his nightstand and fumbled around until he found his wand. "Luminos," he whispered. His wand lit up his prefects quarters. Percy then reached over and opened the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out a little bottle and squinted to read the label. /Hmm.. these were supposed to stop me from dreaming../ He sighed and popped two pills from the jar into his mouth.

Morning came too soon for Percy, that one little beam of light had burst itself through the clouds, and at the right angle, found it's way through the window and bore straight into Percy's eyes.

He grumbled and rolled out of the beam of light, only to be bombarded by a choir of birds chirping. Obviously he was not meant to sleep in this morning.

He sighed to himself. /I might as well get up and start my homework../ He rolled over to the side of the bed and sat up, putting his feet on the cool wood floor.

He stretched his arms up and yawned loudly. He rubbed sleep from his eyes as he stood up. Something seemed very very off this morning, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Idly, he scratched the back of his head, yawning again. "Oh!" He squeeked out loud. /I must be neglecting myself. My hair is getting terribly long. I could have sworn it was just at my ears and not down to my shoulders../ He let his hands fall down to his chest.

His eyes flashed open so fast. He blinked the thought out of his head and closed his eyes. He opened them again and looked down. "Now these DEFINATELY weren't here yesterday!" His voice squeeked a few octaves higher than he was used to.

"Of course they were, love. You going batty?" A strangely familiar, and male, voice said from behind him.

Percy froze stone cold. Slowly he turned around, pure horror written across his face. "S-S-Snape!" He shrieked.

"Percilla, what on Earth is with you this morning?" Snape said, sitting up in the bed. You see, it WAS Snape, only much younger. 15 years younger to be exact. "And since when do you call me Snape? I prefer Sevvie much much more," he said in a tone, too much like purring for Percy's comfort. Only until it was too late did Percy realize what wearing, or, should I say, not wearing.

Another shrill cry erupted from Percy's mouth, even higher than before.

He bolted out of the room, leaving his naked professor behind. Only then did he realize how scantly clad he himself was. Suddenly he was feeling very vulnerable, and he could tell by the warmth of his face that he was blushing profusely.

He looked around the room, trying to find somewhere to hide. Before he could find such a place, Snape emerged from the bedroom, still naked.

"URGH! Professor Snape!" Percy groaned again. "Don't you have enough decency to cover yourself up!"

"This is my home, I can go about however I please. And Perc! What the hell is going on in that head of yours? Professor? I'm still an intern!" He covered the distance between himself and Percy, then wrapped his arms tightly around him so there was no chance of escape. "Now, if you'd stop acting wonko and come back to bed, there's a few things as your 'professor' I'd like to teach you.."

Try as he might, in his weak new body, there was no resisting Snape, and he could feel himself being dragged back into the bedroom. Horror struck as he realized exactly what Snape had meant, and what was going to happen next.

"LET ME GO! N O O O O O O O O O O..

..O O O O O O!"

Percy flew up and out of his bed, and face first, landed with a 'thump' on his floor. He could feel cold sweat dripping down his forehead. Quickly he flipped over onto his back, hands flying to his chest. He released a great sigh of relief at the feeling of his very flat, very male chest.

Someone banged on his door. "Percy! Are you alright?" It was one of the twins. He quickly got up and went to the door.

"I'm fine, just a bad dream."

"Christ man, it sounded like you were being murdered," his brother replied grumpily, obviously not happy about being disturbed from whatever it was he was doing to investigate a 'bad dream'. "Good night you sissy girl."

Percy grunted a reply and went back over to his bed and flopped down onto it. /Murder? I'd choose that anyday over../ he shuddered and curled into a ball, like so many nights before, and tried to repress what he'd just dreamt.

Owari

Author Note: I think I'm gonna have to wrap this story up soon, cause there isn't really a point to it and I don't have enough ideas to keep it going forever haha.


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